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I can't help it though. I just can't get death and depressing stuff off my mind.
It's not as bad now, but it still randomly hits me. I think I'm just scared to have someone else be taking away--but this time closer. Sigh.
In other news, this morning on the way to school a farmer was moving his cows across the street and I found this extremely hilarious--and I'm not exactly sure why. I just kept thinking, "Wow, I really do live out in the country."
Argh, it's 1:30AM and I just don't want to go to bed. The pull of exhaustion is there--but I don't want to give in. I'd rather sit here and strain my eyes that much more ;]
School is being a bitter whore. I have gobs of homework to finish up this weekend. Looks like that's what I'll be doing all day tomorrow and Sunday. Gee golly, and I wait so anxiously for the weekend.
Tonight at work I decided I clearly do not want kids for at least 4 years. There's a group of adults who come in with their insanely annoying kids at least once a week. The parents to do NOT once so ever discipline their kids. They refer to one of the waitresses as "the mean lady" because she told the woman to get her baby off the floor because he was directly in our way and there was a high chance of hot pizza landing square on him. They don't like us, we don't like them. But STILL they come in. I don't think I have detested kids as much as I detest those little animals.
Since you're here...( One day I hope to look back at it all and think, )
- Mood:
blank - Music:How High... that movie is awesome!
But! Here I am! One week and two days after my 20th birthday and four days until Fall 07 semester begins.
I have recently concluded that nearly all of the people I graduated with are either married/engaged/pregnant/have kids. Are really that old? Are really to that age already? The age that we talked about when we were juniors and saying that we didn't want to get married until we were like 22. Am I really TWO years away from the age that I said I wanted to get married?
Speaking of lasting vows and such...
My birthday was amazing. Jeremy is amazing. He was here at 8:30 to wake me up with a huge hug and he was the first to tell me happy birthday. He made me a cake, bought me a ring [:DDD], and brought me out to eat and play minigolf with friends. It was an incredible day.
( Of course I have pictures, silly )
Lately I haven't been able to spend much time with my friends, but the day before my birthday me and Lexy spent time together. Well.. her fiance came with us. I'm not really COMPLAINING about that, but I would have liked it better if it was just a girls' night together...
( Who DOESNT take pictures at Caine's? )
It's been a long, long time since I've had up pictures, I hope they're great enough to live up to what I used to post :D
I spent $500 yesterday.
On books. I know, it's pathetic.
I'm also trying to sell my car.
I'm getting a brand new 2007 Camry.
And I want it in this color:
- Location:My bed, of course
- Mood:
cheerful - Music:Random play
[click it]
It's Easter. So Happy Easter.
Unforunately, I'm in room, being totally antisocial because there's unwanted company here.
Jeremy left for Grand Isle today. I'm lame, I miss him already and he just left at 1:30.
But whatever, at least he's having fun.
Spring break is offically over.
Only four weeks of school left.
I'm terrified to get my math test back tomorrow.
Let's spend tonight on top of the world
We can do anything, we can be anything
I'll meet you tonight on top of the world
- Mood:
hungry - Music:Amber Pacific
( Drivers who can't be bothered to learn how to drive: )
( Walmart/Immigrants [Illegal of course]: )
So anyway. All I did today really was work and then go to Walmart. Nothing extremely exciting. Tomorrow it's all about the tanning. I gotta get that summer look going again =] It's like 77 outside and I'm frickin' excited. I'm ready for bikinis and fun in the sun! It's going to be great!
I love this tree.
I think it's really Louisiana-looking.
Oh and here's a few Myspace-ish pictures I took...
Last night I watched Borat with Jeremy and I was incredibly disappointed. Not nearly as good as I had been led to believe.
Jeremy. That boy. So much to say...but all that sums it up is: I love him.
- Mood:
cynical - Music:"Unwell" Matchbox Twenty
I hate when people say their lives are horrible. I know I went through that stage, and sometimes I still gripe about the way things are going, but dude, I know when to stop. And I know that I really don't have it that bad. People are just irratating lately.
However, I do love my besties, Brooke.. and duh Jeremy :] They make me happy right on the inside. Oh yeh, and Kasey is pretty great too. I love having friends that I can seriously talk about ANYTHING with. I mean.. just plain gross things that you wouldn't talk about with anyone else. That's true friendship.
I feel nauseated, I just ate a ice cream Reeses' Pieces thing. Not smart. It feels like my stomach is turning inside out.
Ew. I miss Jeremy. I haven't really been able to spend time with him 'cause of work, school and fishing. He's at a touranment right now. Win some money, baby!
I took this picture a billion years ago. Just thought I'd show it off.
I need to start taking pictures again. I miss my picture stories.
- Mood:
discontent - Music:Save Me Unwritten Law
Psht. Anyway. I've had two really grumpy days. I want tomorrow to be a happy day.
Yesterday I was cranky cause Jeremy didn't get back from fishing until 6 o'clock. We went to the fair like he promised we would--but we ended up leaving before we even saw Cupid because we rode with his parents. I hate riding with other people for that reason. I was actually supposed to meet up with some of my friends..but I couldn't because we left. Uh. Bummer.
Today was even more lame because of those stupid drunks/trashy people who came in and DIDN'T LEAVE ANY TIPS. Gosh, people, why are you being so lame. I've been cranky/emotional for like.. 2 weeks now. I don't know what's my problem. I think I'm letting school get to me again. I get like this EVERY semester. It's so lame.
Sunday night I worked with the girl that Jeremy used to like, and Jeremy. I felt like a horrible person because for the longest time I couldn't even speak to her. Then my manager made me feel like an ass. He was like.. you gotta get over it or you'll ruin your relationship. But I don't know. It's not that I dislike HER as a person it's like.. I don't trust her. I wouldn't leave Jeremy alone with her for a long time even if she has a boyfriend. It sounds wrong and all that blah blah, but I guess I'm just a teeny bit jealous. It's whatever. By the end of the night we were talking about stuff and I wasn't freaking out as much anymore. I did cry on the way home though because I felt like such an ass.. and I'm worried I'm just not good enough for Jeremy. But whatever he cured those fears and now I'm trying to get over it. Hopefully I can do it.
I'm exhausted. I really am. I didn't get home until 12 last night--then I got up 7:30, 8, then 8:30. I kept setting my alarm for 30 minutes longer heh. I can't wait the summer. I'm ready for tanning oil, chlorine, and fishing (gasp, yes I actually want to go fishing!). I'm readyyyyyyy. BRING IT ON SUMMER, BRING IT ONNN :]
NOTE: The most disgusting thing in the world--to hear your parents talking about their sex life. Gag.
( Vanity, it's a sin you know. )
- Mood: cranky
- Music:Dangerous Ying Yang Twins
So won't you kill me?
So I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.
IT'S WATER YOU IDIOTS!!
I can't believe that.
Tuesday/Wednesday
My car overheated.
Left me at school.
I was out of antifreeze.
I also learned I couldn't even open my hood.
Convince my mom to let me have her.
- Location:room
- Mood: content
- Music:Hands Down Dashboard Confessionals
I would say a good bit has been going on. I've been extremely busy with work and the holidays. I have to say--I am quite disappointed that they're over. I really like that time of the year. People are just.. happier. Speaking of being happy-I don't know what's been up with me lately. I've been all out of it. I think it's because I've been having a stupid stomach ache for a week. I think it it has to do with my stupid wisdom teeth coming in. Gr. Today, me and the boyfriend had bit of a row. Simply=I got mad at the lady at Movie Gallery, so I told her something, I walked out and when Jeremy came to get in the car he was, shall we say, a teensy bit livid. He was mad because I get mad and can't control what I do or say. It's a problem I've BEEN working on--it's just hard. My temper is completely horrific. Really. I can't rein it in. I don't know what's wrong with me. Imbalance, prehaps?
On top of that, I've been worrying lately. About what you ask? I don't know, just everything. I worry about me and Jeremy, which there isn't a reason for me to. I worry about school, which there isn't a reason for that either, I just need to buckle down and do what needs to be done. I can't shake that stupid feeling like I'm failing. Like I've been thrown in a river and can't get to either bank and I'm slowly drowning. I get like this every once in a while. Then it just kinda goes away. I suppose this happens to everyone--I'm just such a drama queen it seems worse for me.
My iPod is bad ass. I love it. I don't know how I ever did without it. Really.
Argh, I'm about to go to work. I want to go make money but I'm really not in the mood to go work.
I need a cool, fun thing to go do on a date with Jeremy this weekend. I feel like we're doing the same lame things over and over. Help with that.
Come home, won't you come back home?
...
It comes and goes, yeh, it comes and goes
( You've got what it takes to set me free )
- Location:aaaaaadlkfj
- Mood:
worried - Music:Say It Right-Nelly Furtado
