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There's so much going on in my family life. I don't even know where to begin. I'm irked. Really bad, by this girl who lives across the yard in a trailer my grandmother rents out. I get so irratated by the fact that my mom spends so much time with her. Talks to her all the time. She never bothers to make time for me anymore. Hell yes I'm jealous. Hell yes I want that girl to move far from here. If you knew her, you'd say the same thing. She makes me mad. I think she's telling my mom I've been skipping class to go see Jeremy. Well, SOMEONE has been telling her that. I haven't skipped a day all semester except for last Wednesday. I only skipped because the weather was supposed to be bad. Let me tell you, I was pissed. I think she'd be the only one to tell my mom that. And believe me, it's pushing me to the end of my rope. I can't stand her. I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY don't like her. REALLY.
My emotions have been draining me lately. I've been so angry. So hurt by everything. I don't know what to do with myself. I need spring break--now. I need a break from studying, from doing homework, from worrying about grades. I need to spend a whole week in Jeremy's arms, but I CAN'T because our spring breaks are different. And I'm worrying. I always worry. I'm worrying about him going to Grande Isle for his spring break. I'm going to miss him terribly and worry CONSTANTLY until he comes back. Oh jeez, I'm giving myself a headache just thinking about it.
Someone give me tips, fast. I need to be told what the hell to do with myself.
I keep having dreams about being kidnapped. I looked it up online, and this is what it said it means:
To dream that you are being kidnapped, denotes feelings of being trapped and restricted. Someone or some situation may be diverting your concentration and your attention away from your goals.
I've seriously have about 4 dreams total in the last two weeks about being kidnapped. Each time it's different. First time, I was somewhere.. dark.. and they kidnapped me and held me in a dark, scary room. Then just let me go. Second one, we were living in a haunted house--and these women kidnapped me and wouldn't let me go home..then someone saved me. Third one..I can't remember, but there was a third one. The fourth one was the other night. I was living in the country--where there was like.. nothing. And this man just kidnapped me. I didn't think I would ever make it back home, but once again.. they let me go.
What the hell huh?
I hate dreams that keep coming back.
It bothers me.
OMG. My dog won't stop barking because of that stupid girls kids. I'M LOSING MY MIND I'M SO DAMN ANGRY ALL THE TIME. I'M STAYING WITH A HEADACHE. I CAN'T SEEM TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT ALL THIS NEGATIVITY.
I need those tips on how to get over being so damn angry right now.
- Mood:
discontent - Music:These Tables are Number for a Reason-- P@tD
I'm dating Jeremy.
I'm the one he calls every night.
Hugs, kisses, loves.
And still I'm jealous of some girl, because he said she's prettier than me.
Okay, so yeh it is more complicated than that.
But still, why should I be jealous? I mean, there's no reason.
What's wrong with me?
Ahhhh I hate being jealous. It's a stupid feeling. It's meaningless and ridiculous.
[sigh]
I gotta get over it.
School: Is fine. I spent all day Saturday working on homework. I actually cried for an hour because I couldn't figure it out. I brought it to my mom, she's like oh this is easy--and we hurrily finish everything. I was like well, gee, if I woulda came to her first--problem would have been solved.
Love: More than great. Jeremy's amazing, and he never ever ceases to stop amazing me. He definitely makes me feel like I can do absolutely anything I decide I want to do. And he pushes me to be the person he KNOWS I can be--the person I doubt I can be. He's always been there to pick me up when I'm about to fall-and he's changed me to the person I am now. If he wouldn't have talked to me 3 years ago--I don't exactly know where'd I be now. Yesterday we were talking about where we were going to go for our honeymoon inbetween kisses. And for some reason I think it was the sweetest/sexiest thing we've ever done. We were talking about going to Aussy. I want to go so bad. I want to see the Great Barrier Reef and just.. see it. I don't know to me it seems beautiful, and not somewhere most people go on their honeymoons. I like being different :]
Anyway. Enough of this marriage and honeymoon talk. It makes me long for a time that won't be here for quite a while now. Sometimes I think about how I want kids, I mean not at this second or anything, but how in a few years I'll be ready to get married and have kids. I worry that Jeremy is just not going to be ready for a long time. Not that I won't wait for him, but gosh, I don't want to wait forever years! But yeh ANYWAY..I'm so bored. I'm trying to make a CD and the damn thing isn't burning right.
Can you believe that there is a possibly for it to be in the 20's in a few weeks. That'll be our HIGHS. It never gets that cold here. I'll have to buy a bigger jacket and all that jazz. There's no way any of the clothes I have now will prepare me for 20 degree weather.
Yeh. I decided I needed another mindless thing to do online, so I have this
I don't really like it though. Facebook is confusing. I rather Myspace.
- Location:gonna be at jeremy's soon
- Mood: jealous
- Music:Le Disko Shiny Toy Guns
