![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
- Location:school computer lab
- Mood:
cold
And! The media wants to blame it on movies like Juno. If you are stupid enough to believe that having a baby is all fun and games then you are really and truly an idiot. I just don't get what young people these days are thinking. If they really are watching movies and TV shows about young people having babies and thinking, "Oh, gee! Wouldn't that be fun?!" Then going out and getting pregnant on purpose...there's a lot that needs to be done about the way kids are being raised these days.
It's such a disappointment. And it scares me to death to think about what future generations..like my kids and their kids will be doing.
- Mood:
aggravated
DESSERTS?!
And you know damn well that little ol' housewives are like, "OH DEAR! This presidential candidates wife makes these LOVELY brownies, I think..yes, I think I will vote for him!"
Absolutely pathetic.
- Mood:
disappointed
It's the most dreaded time ever, and of course it comes right before the blessed summer break.
I can't wait until summer. I can't wait to wake up and NOT have to worry about school, or the amount of money I spend EVERY week on gas because of school.
Friday is our last day, then I have finals Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Then I'm done.
I'm desperately trying not to stress out, but I can't stand how teachers pile on the crap at the very end. You have two class periods to finish a huge project, or two days to read a novel. That kinda thing. It's getting kinda out of hand.
But! I finished my project for my online class and all I have left to do is study for the final which is Monday. But...then I have a project in my mapping class to finish, plus a project in my Visual Basic class to finish. All due by Friday.
You know what really gets me? When there's road construction and the cones are so far over in your lane that you have to go off the side of the road. And the shoulder is nothing but gravel so it makes it hard to maintain control of your car. I get to drive through that every morning and afternoon because [of course] they're redoing HWY 190 now instead of when the summer starts.
You know, sometimes I wish I was still that person I was two years ago. That person who never gave a damn, that person who was always happy. I wish with all my might I could be like that again. I want to be carefree and happy. I just wish, wish, wish I could be like that again. I'm hoping once I graduate from school this December and I no longer have to worry about cramming for that last minute test or worry about the stupid drama as a waitress I'll be like that again.
But I'm hoping that I can change a little bit this summer, and let less things bother me and try to see the greatness in ever situation.
- Location:room
- Mood:
calm - Music:the cars driving around outside
The compressor on my car has been making a pretty horrid noise for the past 6 months or so and finally it's said, "Screw this, shit!" and is making a particularly scary noise when I accelerate, so I'mma have to go today to price them.
In rather depressing news, I bought the new Panic at the Disco CD and it was absolutely disgusting. I hate it with a passion. I'm so mad that they completely changed their sound. They sound like they fell out of the 70's. If I wanted folk/70's music I would go buy an oldies CD. I'm selling it back to the store I got it from even if they just give me five bucks back, that's all it's worth anyway.
Ah, but I think the best part of the last two weeks has been this--One of the girls at work who worked there for a year, quit for a year, then came back for a year just got a 40 cent raise. That's right! I've been there for two years and so has one of the other girls and we didn't get a raise! It's an incredibly beautiful thing. It's so incredibly frustrating when you know you're doing a good job because the managers have told you that--but someone who quit for a year then came back gets a raise before you. And the fact that it's not just ME but another girl, too. I just want to know the reason why she gets one even though she was gone for so long but we don't. Ugh.
Blah. I don't feel like typing anymore, I think I need a nap..
- Location:computer desk
- Mood:
sleepy - Music:the whir of the washing machine and my fan
I'm taking Tamiflu because I got the flu. Well, the stuff makes you have stomach cramps and makes you have nightmares and can even make you have like fits of uncontrolled anger. The ONLY reason I'm still taking it is because I want to feel better for Tuesday. That's when we leave for New Orleans :]. But yeh--that Tamiflu crap--man, I'm not too sure about it. Eh.
Saturday night my mom called me at work and told me that my dad's dad (well, my stepdad) had clasped while visiting family in Florida and that they thought he had had a stroke. Well, about an hour later, my dad calls me and tells me he's on his way to Florida to go meet them. He told me that it wasn't look too good and that they were saying if he lived he would be paralyzed on the right side and wouldn't be able to talk. Saturday morning my dad called me to tell me that he had died and he started to cry. It broke my heart into a billion pieces. My poor dad :/ But what really made me feel bad was that I didn't cry. I haven't cried. And I know it's because I wasn't close to them anymore and.. I don't know. I just feel terrible that I haven't even cried. I feel so incredibly bad for my dad. And I won't even be there for my dad for the funeral because I'll be in New Orleans. Honestly though, I don't think I could handle another funeral. Matt just died 5 months ago. When I was in the 7th grade, both of my grandfathers died. Before that my mom had a baby girl who died. I just.. man, I can't do funerals anymore. It's just too much death. Especially since sometimes I still struggle to except that Matt's dead.
Blah.
Good news: Tonight we're going eat out for Jeremy's birthday and Kasey's coming sleep over. Tomorrow Kasey, Allie and I are going shopping and I'm getting my nails done and getting Jeremy his cookie cake for his 21st birthday :] I'm so ready to give him his surprise tonigggght :]
- Location:the living rooooom
- Mood: calm
- Music:I'm watching ANTM
Ah, it feels good to be LJ'ing pretty regularly now.
Can someone tell me why people from my past always pop up at unexpected moments and expect me to forget everything they ever did.. and like them and talk to them? I don't understand this little phenomenon that happens upon me quite often. A few weeks ago an ex best friend tried talking to me after she did some very disgraceful things when our ex boyfriend died. Yes, I said our because while we were best friends she started dating him two days after he broke up with me. But you know what? That's not what bothered me. What bothered me was when he died she told me in a very, very ugly way. I swore never to speak to her again.. and I basically told her that.
A few weeks ago she tells me on Myspace that she's moving to Baton Rouge (with is about two hours from where I live) and that we should go party. I didn't even answer her back. Why bother? An ex-boyfriend this morning started telling me about his family problems. Hey, guess what guys? I'm not the Robyn from three years ago who forgives and forgets. I'm sorry, I can't do that anymore.
Sometimes I feel like a failure as a friend. One of my friends is having a pretty rough time.. but I can't find the words or means to console her anymore. I see the solution in my mind, clear as day--but you can't make someone do what they themselves don't feel is right. It's hard seeing someone like that, so amazing, so strong.. crumpling under all the pressures of life.. and realizing there's absolutely nothing you can do...
On the subject of friends. There's a girl I've been friends with since seriously 7th grade. Through high school we lost touch, but our senior year we started getting close again. Well, she met a guy. This guy is in no way shape or form the "perfect" guy. He screwed her over.. they broke up. She swore not to be with him again. Few months passed, she was with him again.. a few more months and they were engaged. And I stopped seeing her because he's the type of guy that keeps a girl from seeing her friends. Well, they're married now, and she isn't the person I used to know. She was always loud, outgoing and so friendly. Now she almost seems.. passive. She doesn't say much, she's just kinda like.. eh whatever.
How do people change THAT drastically for the worst?
And then, you know, there's always the friend that acts like they have your best interest at heart, but in reality they are just so jealous of you it's sickening. Hah.
I wanna make love in this club
Sadly enough, I think I'm obsessed with that song.
New Orleans bound in just 4 days!
I can't wait!!
- Location:computer desk
- Mood: cheerful
- Music:Make Love in This Club Usher
Blah. I have a horrible headache and I think I have the flu :[
I go to New Orleans next week! I have to be better. So, blah I'm going to the doctor this afternoon. I hope the stupid appointment and/or medicine doesn't cost too much. I definitely don't have insurance :/
I've missed two days of school, how crappy, I might have to miss more. I can't wait til next week. It'll finally be spring break and I'll be AWAY from school. It's stressing me out. Between that and working two jobs I think that's why I'm getting sick so much this year. I'm way too busy. I don't have enough time to let my body fight off whatever is that I get myself into.
Jeremy and I made two years last Friday. I think it's amazing that he's stuck with me this long, haha.
Oh yeh, and as always there's drama at my place of employment. Even Jeremy agrees now, girls just don't like me.
- Location:bed
- Mood:
blah - Music:A Haunting
It's true. There are plenty of examples. Just watch me wait tables with women at them. 99% of the time, the woman will be a bitch to me no matter how nice I am. And it always seems that she thinks I'm wanting her boyfriend/husband. This is definitely not the case.
What's so great about LJ is that nobody in the "real" world knows this even exists. They have no idea that I write all of my personal thoughts and all that jazz in here. Which is fabulous for me. I can be as frank and brutally honest as I feel I must be.
Oh and don't I need that today.
Back to the whole girls-hate-me thing. Okay. We're low on waitresses. They're hiring my boyfriend's cousin. Both me and Jeremy thought this to be a ridiculous idea. And it wasn't just us. I'm not the type to keep what I think much of a secret so I told one of the girls I work with, who by the way I thought I could trust. I was so sadly mistaken. She went back and told that girls sister who also works with us. Well, you can see how that panned out. I get a call from Jeremy asking me if I told someone about how I didn't want her to work there. I said yeh, and he said that they told his cousins. Why they called him is beyond me, but whatever. He doesn't care. It's just the point that the girl told her what I had said. All I said was that I didn't want to work with her. End of story. Now there's all kinds of variations on what I really said.
The girl who went back and told everyone else is truly a bitch. Like not a mild bitch. No, the real deal. All fake and plastic-y on the outside and pure evil bitchness inside. I mean, who does that kinda stuff? Are we seriously back in 7th grade? But it gets better! I believe I know the reason she started all this. Get this--one of the other girls we work with was at one time one of my arch enemies [long story short she and my boyfriend used to like each other--stupid, I know, but at the time it was like..horrible or something]. So ex-arch enemy used to be pretty good friends with Little Miss I Have The Runs Of The Mouth. They aren't so close anymore--well, my once arch enemy is now a pretty good friend and Little Miss is jealous. How stupid. I know. It's all very ridiculous to me.
I haven't had caffeine in, I'd say over a month, and now I'm finishing up an iced coffee from Starbucks and I feel like I might just jump/scream/bounce right out of the door. Not a feeling I should have at 10:00 at night. A;DKFJA;DFJ.
It's a beautiful thing, guys, it's a beautiful thing.
- Location:MY BEDROOM FINALLY!
- Mood: bitchy
- Music:"Guilty Pleasure" Cobra Starship
I FINALLY HAVE WIRELESS INTERNET!!!
Haha, it's great. Soon I will have the zoo pictures from over a month ago, and pictures from Christmas.
Not much new has happened. School still stresses me out.
Me and Jeremy's two year anniversary is on the 7th. I'm kinda pumped up about it :]
I love any kind of holiday that I get to buy stuff for!
Eck, I can't think right now, so...how has everyone else been?
- Location:MY BEDROOM FINALLY!
- Mood: cold
- Music:A show on Discovery Health
It's weird to think of yourself as a subject of converstation, don't you think?
Well, the dreaded time has arrived. I started school yesterday. Forunately, though, it's really not that bad. All my classes appear to be pretty easy. I'm kinda excited about it.
Apparently, because I think that Mardi Gras is a ridiculous waste of time and money and brain cells I'm a shitty person. Tonight I was pretty much bitched at because I voiced my opinion on the matter. I love how people are so one sided when it comes to who can voice their opinion.
The zoo and aquarium were amazing, I'm definitely going to post the pictures on here. I took 118 pictures :] And the time I got to spend with Jeremy all to myself was one of the great parts, too. Eh, school and work and FISHING are picking up again so that means less Jeremy/Robyn time, I'm not really looking forward to that :/
You know what I realized? I never know how to end a journal entry.
- Location:the kitchen
- Mood:
contemplative
Work is making me want to punch someone in the face. People have been unusually rude. On top of that, the girls I work with have been extra catty lately. People I believed to be my friends are now turning out to be more like enemies, and people that I really, really didn't like are turning out to be not so bad after all.
I've reached the point that I really just don't care anymore who gets mad at me. Everything I do over there pisses SOMEone off. No matter what it is. I make someone mad. So I've just given up. I'm not trying to please anyone anymore. I'm here, take it or leave it; it doesn't really matter anymore.
Tonight my manager said, "That's the third time tonight you've been a bitch."
Oh sweet. He's such a jerk. Argh. I can't even begin to explain.
And then, yesterday one of the girls asked me to switch tonight and next Sunday because she wasn't feeling well and didn't think she'd be able to work today. Though we don't necessarily always get a long, I said sure, I'll do that for you. I mean, she's sick. Well, tonight, guess who comes strolling through the door with her boyfriend? I didn't even connect it at first then it dawned on me that she had asked for off because she wasn't feeling well. I didn't want to start any kind of drama, so I didn't say anything--then she was like, "Oh thanks SO much for taking my spot--I feel better today!" I looked at her and said, "Well, I'm glad you were so sick that you could come in and eat tonight," with the biggest smile on my face. It seriously pissed me off. Even if she was feeling better, she should have considered the fact that she had asked me to work for her and NOT gone over there to eat.
Why must people be so damn stupid?
- Location:kitchen
- Mood: cranky
- Music:the whir of the computer
I have pictures of my apartment.. ( It's nice )
Christmas was great.
I love getting stuff for my house.
Jeremy + Rob = Great.
Sometimes we fight and argue, but mostly I think I start it. I need to work on that.
Other than that, things are great.
I work all the time, but I love it.
I love the money.
I made a 3.8 this semester. Damnit, so very close.
Eh. That's it. I have to work a double tomorrow. I'll update more sometime later.
- Location:The dining room.
- Mood:
artistic - Music:Blackout---but in my head. It's stuck there.
I'm so tired, when I'm walking around campus I'm really not thinking that I'm moving. I'm on autopilot.
Here's some key points in my life that I may or may not explain after I type them. Who knows how I'll feel after typing a few sentences.
+ I have a second job. I work a little boutique my friend's sister owns.
+ My roommates boyfriend has a warrant out for his arrest.
+ I have finals next week.
+ I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled on the 17th.
+ I have decided that all fake people need to be purged from my life and I need to stop playing their game and just ignore there asses.
+ I have three essays and a paper to write--and I can barely think I'm so tired.
*le sigh*
I typed that, I sat there for a moment and stared. I want to continue typing. I need to get some of this stuff out of my head. Maybe I'll feel lighter and a lot less stressed. I wish.
I'm overwhelmed. I'm stressed. I want to just sleep and.. I don't even know.
Last night at work I was sure I'd burst into tears at any second. I was just having a bad night, and everyone I tried to talk to either made fun of me or just told me to stop complaining because there was nothing I could do about it. So, I just stopped talking. I didn't talk to anyone but my tables. I didn't want to talk. I didn't find a need to talk. Nobody would listen anyway. One of the girls I worked with pretends to listen but I got so fed up with her generic response of "Oh really?!" That I was pretty sure I'd kick her in the face.
I think I want to run away to Jamaica. I asked Jeremy if anyone would care---he said some people would. Damnit.
- Location:computer lab
- Mood: irate
- Music:none
Anyway. I still haven't taken pictures of my apartment to show all my internet friends, but I'll probably do that tomorrow. Me and Jeremy were supposed to go to New Orleans this weekend to go to the zoo and the aquarium. Plans fell through, however, because the part of I-10 that leads to Baton Rouge is closed because a oil rig exploded. It happened right by a bridge so now they have to check the integrity of the bridge and it won't be open until December 4th. And it's supposed to rain all weekend. So we're going to wait until after I get out of school.
My roommate's boyfriend is sick. I'm the biggest germ-aphob...ever. So now I'm all worried about getting what he has. I was walking around spraying the disinfectant spray. It's ridiculous. Speaking of ridiculous, I got home yesterday and our AC was on--it was 60 degrees outside and the AC was on 70. Uh. NO! We pay our electricity. I was a little more than pissed off.
Eh, I guess I'll go finishing watch this more than stressful game and deal with indigestion from that stupid seasoning they put in that turkey that I ate earlier. And for some reason Diet Dr. Pepper makes me feel all weird and gives me cotton mouth. I mean, what the hell?
- Location:jeremy's kitchen
- Mood: blah
- Music:LSU game and Jeremy and Jared screaming at the TV
( Ho ho ho? You shouldn't be offended unless you are one. )
I think that has to be the most ridiculous thing I've read recently. I mean.. really.
Now, back to the original reason for this entry. The keys were handed over to us on Tuesday and the apartment is officially ours. It's great. Plenty big enough for the two of us. But the best part? My dad bought me a vacuum cleaner, a toaster, a block of knives annnd he got me a free washer and dryer :D Amanda's parents bought us a microwave, towels for the bathroom/kitchen, laundrey deg...$217 worth of things. It's awesome. Thennn my mom and her boyfriend are going to buy us a living room TV and she's giving me her entertainment center from her room. AND we're getting a couch from Amanda's uncle.
I'm completely excited.
However, at first I was extremely anxious. I was really kinda depressed. Leaving home is..I don't know. Different than I would have thought. I thought I woulda been like HELL YES IM FINALLY MOVING OUT..but I was kinda like.. ew, jeez, I'm moving out. I like it now though, so that's a good thing, right?
Oh yeh, pictures up super soon, befores and afters :D
- Location:Excel class
- Music:Uh.. whatever music the guy was listening to next to me
I finally found an apartment, and a roommate. It's a two bedroom 1 1/2 bath two floor apartment for 475 a month. I realized I couldn't afford it by myself so I went through this huge drama with two different people trying to find someone to move in with me. And finally I came across Amanda who is dating Lance [he used to work at Pizza Shack]. Well, I saw her at Quiznos two weeks ago and mentioned that I was looking for a roommate. Three days later she commented me on Myspace and told me she was in need of a roommate and somewhere to stay.
Thursday I signed my half of the lease and totally freaked out. I don't even know why. I got scared she'd back out on me. Or leave before the year was up.. just all kind of stupid, paranoid ideas. I called her and we talked everything over and I got over it. Monday we're going shopping for household goods, and Tuesday she's signing her half of the lease and we're getting the keys. Wednesday I should be starting to move stuff in.
Which means tomorrow I have to start packing, but I have a huge Economics test on Monday. My stupid teacher didn't go over what was going to be on it, so I have NO clue what to study. I really hate that class. I hope I can just pull a B in there. I'd be happy.
Ok. I got distracted, stop typing, lost my train of though. So...yeh, can't wait til Tuesday--I'll have pictures of the apartment soon :D
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: calm
- Music:watching americas next top model
In other news, last night Jeremy talked to his dad's friend who owns apartments by their house..and he said that they're $475 a month. This, my friends, is a REALLY good price. He said the electricity bill is normally only 40 or so dollars. I'm going to call him when I get out of class to see what's he got. I'm really anxious to move now that my mom has brought up the plan to let our neighbor, whom I can't STAND, live with us for a while. She has two small daughters and they alone would drive me batty. But the neighbor.. oh she's something. I just don't think our trailer is big enough for THAT many people. It's comfy just the way it is. I hate knowing that I'm pretty much being thrown from the nest--even though she keeps saying, "You don't have to go, you don't have to go." The fact that she's probably going to get kicked off of the land we live on is putting even more pressure on me. Strangely enough, though, I'm not really worried. I'm handing over everything and just saying, what's going to happen will. I don't think God will put me through anything I can't handle.. (Strange that I say that when I wouldn't even take what that man was passing out, huh?) I'm really strange when it comes to religion. I don't even think we should have organized religion, but I seriously doubt that now is the time to go into that.
Exciting news: I just have FOUR classes to take and I'll be finished with school! Down side--two of those classes are in the spring, two are in the fall. But! I get the summer off, I'm pretty psyched about that. Some beach, some where, here I come!
- Location:school--upstairs lab
- Mood: amused
- Music:meriwether
I looked into apartments. There are many options, but I have no idea what to do with those options. I found one aparatment that had two full baths and two bedrooms with all appliances and all that jazz for 550/mo. HOWEVER, I, once again, don't have a roommate. I know if I had to I could afford this, but since I don't absolutely have to...I don't think I'll accept the offer when they call next month.
I did have a roommate, Holly was going to move in with me. But she decided she wanted to get a dog for Christmas and that apartment complex didn't allow pets, so yep that's how that went.
My mom's boyfriend has been coming over more and more, and he's really nice...but I can't seem to feel just...blank while talking to him. He's a stranger, and he's sitting where my dad used to sit and taking up the place my dad used to be. I just.. can't get used to it.
School is throughly kicking my ass. I'm tired of it. I have so much homework to do over the weekend I don't even want to BEGIN to think about it. My Access class meets this Saturday. I have to do this assignment in there where we make a data base and base it on a particular disease we found interesting. I did it on OCD (Obsessive Complusive Disorder)--it's so much harder than you think. I have to collect 10 websites that are about OCD and have a physical address and phone number and such. Uh hello, time consuming. Not to mention the actual assignment itself. Oh blah.
I've been so cranky lately. I hate it. I want to be happy, but I'm SO damn tired from school I feel like I can't function.
Let me start doing the damn work in Excel before my teacher starts loading more assignments on and I get lost.
- Location:Excel class
- Mood: tired
- Music:blahhhh
Last night I was really feeling depressed. I've been like that the last week or so. [PMS is stupid] So anyway, last night I was blubbering away. I mean sobbing, for no reason at all. And I just kept telling Jeremy I was sad. I wanted to spend the day with him today--but he was going fishing. Which I knew, but then there was the chance that he wasn't going. So I, like a moron, got my hopes up and started planning things for us to do. He calls me after he gets off of work and told me that he WAS going. So then I was all down and out. And for the rest of the time on the phone I was feeling crappy. Well anyway, we got off the phone around 10:15. I fell asleep right after that--then my phoen starts ringing at about 10:55. It was Jeremy, he was calling to make sure I was alright. Now, he NEVER does that. When we get off the phone, he goes to sleep and that's the end of that. It meant SO much to me. He kept telling me how much he loved me and he asked me if made me happy that he called to check on me. It really, really did. Now, I was half asleep so I didn't really know what to say, but when I woke up and remembered it made me feel so awesome. I think I fell in love all over again :D
So far midterm grades are as followed:
Economics - B
GIS - A
Microword - B
I'm still not sure about Access and Excel, but I should have a B in each of those classes. I say that's good enough, even though I need to pick up the grades so I at least have 3 A's.
Blah, well, I guess I can stop putting it off and get to Opelousas and start looking for apartments...
- Location:computer lab
- Mood: cheerful
- Music:the people talking around me
